On the 21st of May 2019, we launched a contest on Facebook, inviting everyone who has experienced a painful separation or a divorce to share a short story revealing how this has impacted them and what they have learned out of it. The Topic Was “Separating From My Partner Has Taught me ((THIS))”. May you feel inspired by these Heartfelt Stories Shared By Women & Men From All Across The World!
Here at YOUniverse we really didn’t imagine what was about to come… The stories that were shared are beyond beautiful. These authentic life lessons are incredible, some can easily bring one to tears, while others ignite hope, laughter and a whole rainbow of emotions.
Each story is unique, but they all flow from the same essence: LOVE, COURAGE, WISDOM, showing us how important it is to come together as a loving community, to hold safe space, to lift each other up, share and grow brighter with each challenge.
We honor each and every one of those who shared their truth to inspire many other souls who are going through the same thing. We were taken through all sorts of emotions while reading them, so thank YOU all for sharing.
Seeing the Lessons That Separation Brings
Once we step into seeing the deep spiritual truths that are being shown to us following a separation, we are shifting into a higher experience and stepping out of struggle. When we are no longer living under the veil of illusion and choose to see the lessons that are being pointed out, we are ready to embrace experiences that are truly serving us. The purpose of these lessons is to strip us from anything that’s blinded us from seeing what we truly deserve, in other words – anything that blocks us from being open to authentic & conscious connections.
This has been the purpose of our story contest “Separating From My Partner Has Taught Me ((This))”. Because the truth is – no relationship will ever work with ease until we make things right on the inside.
The Greater the Challenge the Greater the Gift
When we keep on confronting the same fear, obstacle, hardship in an unhealthy/dysfunctional relationship, we are facing a spiritual lesson. A lesson is very much like a key, except in this case an energetic key meant to unlock our highest potential through this journey in life. It is precious, it’s what we call “a blessing in disguise”, an energetic upgrade. Just ask yourself “What is this teaching me? / What am I learning out of it? / What is this pointing out?”
By answering this question and letting ourselves feel what we truly deserve to experience and how we’re being guided to move forward in life, we are ending a learning cycle and naturally attract conscious connections that flow with ease.
Inspire A Thousand Hearts
You can read all 127 short stories and separation lessons below, in their pure raw form, just as they were initially written. May they inspire many hearts who are going through the same thing, so go ahead and SHARE this article with your friends, you might be helping someone who is processing a separation to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it is enough to just know “I am not alone” and one story that is seen at the right time can truly change lives. Imagine the potential of 127 messages. So let’s unite, spread the love and be messengers of light!
It has truly filled me with joy to read all of these heartfelt and outstandingly insightful stories of uncovering the beloved within, of discovering that we are never alone, and that truly we are all of the same divine source. Through your work, you are encouraging humanity to see self in the perceived ”Other” and to support one another in this magic Earth walk. Thank you, everyone, for such beautiful expressions of your precious hearts! With love ever-unfolding, Joia”Joia Holman
Thank you, Joia. Here at YOUniverse we just came up with the next contest topic, being inspired by your words: A Message Of Gratitude – “To The One Who Supported me through a Painful Separation”. When the moment comes for another Bali retreat giveaway, gratitude will be the theme and you… our enchanting muse. 🙂
We honor you all for sharing your truth and we would like to thank each and every one of you for being part of this initiative and our YOUniverse Community. Special thanks also go to our beloved Dear Alyne for her constant support.
May we continue to inspire each other to live life-changing experiences for many years to come!
Here Are All The Separation & Divorce Lessons, Shared By Women & Men From All Across The World:
Lorena: Getting separated has taught me that life truly knows what’s best for us, even when it doesn’t seem to be that way. I am now happily married with two beautiful kids, they are everything to me. Every separation brings wonderful blessings, as long as we trust life’s way.
Pedro: The very idea of marriage is the beginning of divorce.
Marriage is an effort to legalize love.
Marriage basically means that you are not able yet to be alone; you need the other.
Marriage is something against nature. Marriage is an imposition, an invention of man.
It is an ugly institution for the simple reason that love cannot be legalized.
Love and law are contradictory phenomena.
Just having a relationship with someone, is not going to give you happiness,
Unless YOU bring happiness with you.
Love can exist outside of a relationship and relationships exist with an absence of real love.
Only immature people falling in love, destroying each other’s freedom.
Mature people in love help each other to be free, they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when mature people are in love, their love flows with freedom.
A mature person does not fall in love, he or she rises in love.
I’m only sharing my experience.
Thank you for being part of my experience!
Let-go means you start living in a saner way.
let-go is not against work.
In fact, let-go transforms work into a creative experience.
Stephannie: Being separated from a loved one has taught me to be more independent, to love myself first no matter what, to know that everything happened for a reason and for the best. It has taught me that pain is necessary for growth and even though it is not easy, but I can get through this. ❤️
Elisa: Separating from my partner has taught me that I must love myself if I want to purely love anyone else and that person to love me.
Leeanne: Separating From My Partner Has Taught me that sometimes, we need to be apart from each other to learn to be a better person and to find ourselves. If our love was meant to be, we will find our way back to each other as better people and love each other indefinitely from there. time heals all.
Tasnim: I had to do a long-distance all my life. With mom and dad. For college. For visa issues and so on. Thus the separation of any form came easy to me.
But it hit me hard when the person that I trusted the most hurt me in ways I didn’t think was possible.
Anyway, fast forward a year after, evolving became a constant in my life and here’s what it taught me:
1. Heartbreak can be the worst pain we ever feel.
When you break a bone or experience physical pain, there is usually something you can take to ease it. There are pain therapies and treatments. Emotional pain doesn’t work like that and sometimes it can sneak up and hit us like an avalanche. It can fester and suddenly erupt, turning us upside down and inside out. You can’t see emotional pain. You can’t describe it. You can’t take sick leave for it or get a prescription to remedy it. It’s one of the most intense kinds of pain we ever feel.
It has shown me that I am stronger than I thought.
2. I always thought that if it ever happened to me I would crumble like a cookie, wither away from sadness, and break on the inside…and I did. I felt every emotion there is. I cried and hit things, I couldn’t breathe and the world felt like it was closing in, but I didn’t die. It hurt but I moved on. I went about my days from then on and I wasn’t a wreck. It hurt, that’s undeniable, but I lived. I wouldn’t wish being cheated on, on my worst enemy. The pain stays with you and you’re never really the same again, but I can say I am honestly grateful.
3. It wasn’t about me: Sitting there after punching whatever I could with tears running down my face and ringing in my ears I thought to myself, what’s wrong with me? Why am I not good enough? When in reality after many discussions I eventually came to the realization that it really had nothing to do with me and I wasn’t broken beyond repair or flawed ( really does get your insecurities going), his actions had solely to do with him. I can say I am no longer confused with my value.
I realized not everyone you lose, is a loss
4. The truth is not everyone you lose in life is a loss. We realize that losing someone can be a blessing or a lesson. What if staying with your ex meant worse things for you? In that case, you will realize that it is a lesson learned to lose a person like that. A lesson which will teach you a whole lot more about love, relationships and life in general. not every person you lose is a loss
5. I realized love needs a lot of work
Love is very powerful, but it takes more than just love to make a relationship successful. We learn the fact that you cannot make strong foundations of a relationship on just love. Dedication, commitment, honesty, compromises and a whole lot of conscious efforts are required, to make a relationship last forever.
6. I learned the importance of self-love
The first person i need to love in my life is yourself. Once you’ve experienced the pain someone can inflict on you and the loss that comes with wrapping your love in someone else before your own, you understand the necessity of loving yourself before anyone else. There’s no way you can get over the pain of losing someone you love—or thought you loved—unless you have yourself to go back to.
We need our own love more than anyone else’s, at the end of the day, the most important relationship we should have is the one we have with ourselves.
7. Last and the most important one. I have learned to EXIST LOUDLY.
Amber: Separation from my partner has taught me that we are responsible for our own happiness. I married my best friend when I was very young and thought that we were the key to each other’s happiness. I put everything I had into trying to fulfill him, and thought that he would meet all of my needs in return. It took being separated and heartbroken before I realized how wrong I was. Now I know that it is impossible to make someone else “happy”. We have to find that and pursue that for ourselves. If we take the time to take care of ourselves and our needs without expecting someone else to do it for us; we can then come together and support one another in pursuing our passions and enjoying our lives together. Divorce makes you feel incredibly raw for so long. I have found gratitude for going through it and learned more about myself and finding more empathy for others. Nine months later and I am happy to be reaching for my new life and goals, optimistic for my future.
Kalam: Separation from my partner has taught me how to build my six-pack as I have more time to work out and I can eat healthy without considering what he likes to eat. It also brought me to explore the world, open up my eyes and enjoy life as I can travel freely without considering his schedule and pocket. Most importantly, it made me feel that love is all around and to treasure those you love and love you as all of my family and friends were there for me during my hardest time. Divorcement rocks🤘🏼but no next time, please 😂
Chiara: Separating from my partner has taught me that it is going to be really tough, but this will probably make us stronger and, as I would like to think, in peace with the choices everyone makes.
We have been knowing each other since school and we have spent half of our lives together, he was the one knowing the deeper me. It feels very strange to use the past tense, he still is the one person knowing every color shade of my soul, he still is my best friend, he has always been before even being together for years. Even if we barely see each other anymore, when we do I know he is my family and that it is never going to be different than that.
Separating from my partner feels like grief, but there is something intrinsically sweet in the sadness and the pain I know we both experience: we grew up together, we built our personalities together and some part of him will always be part of who I am. The love for each other will never fade, but sometimes love is not enough and choices have to be taken and this is the truth I am struggling with. I have never felt so alone in my life, what helps me sometimes is feeling that part of him that still belongs to me, even if the feeling only lasts for some seconds before I realize that we cannot go back. And for now, I am left with a bitter taste in my mouth… and in my heart.
Ioana: It’s like death. So strange to feel. It’s like nothing and everything. No air no words just a big nothing. My family my best friend my all my better half .. gone. Who am I? What’s the point of it all? Millions of thoughts like worms in the night. No peace, no silence. Waking up, having to do elementary things . Who am I? I am what’s left. I am whatever I was . I am him . No air. But Love is not suffering. The only way to be with him is to become the best part of him. So I am wisdom
.I am support. I am kindness. I am family. I am my best friend. I am creative. I am unconditional love. I believe in me. I will never hurt anyone the way I hurt you. I will learn to forgive myself. I love you . I have to love myself
Cassie: Separation from my partner has taught me that no person escapes this life without experiencing loss. Loss and love are the universal uniters of our human experience, and they drastically alter the lens through which we see the world.
I married poorly, allowing my past scars and my ex-husband to dictate my worth. After six years in an abusive marriage, I somehow found the strength to leave.
I began going to therapy. It was hard facing feelings of worthlessness, but I learned to value my inherent worth and to stand on my own two feet again.
Until the day I didn’t have to; Andrew came into my life, making me feel safe and unconditionally loved. It was the kind of love you’re lucky to experience once in a lifetime–let alone twice. I lost him in a tragic accident a month ago and have felt ‘lost’ ever since. I know he’ll help me find my way, and is helping me in the ways that he can from the other side.
In the meantime, I have been comforted most by those people who are intimately acquainted with loss. Complete strangers have held my hand, and we mourn the loss of love together. It is terrible and beautiful at the same time.
Kai: Separation from my partner has taught me… How strong and independent I can become.. How many things I can do to enjoy.. How to love my self.. To learn I don’t need anybody to tell me that I’m beautiful.. I learnt that I am complete without anyone. I’m enough to enjoy life. Now I have learn to love better.. Without owning anyone..
Dania: Separation from my partner has taught me that I can feel pain but get over it. And if I can do that then I can do anything I set my mind to.
Separation from my partner has taught me that when we’re in a toxic relationship we forget about our real goals in life and we need to get out of this relationship immediately or we’ll lose ourselves eventually. Because our goals define who we are.
Separation from my partner has taught me that I should learn how to receive in a relationship not just give everything to my partner. Because this was unhealthy.
Thank you for reading!
Tasleem: Separation from my partner has taught me how to fight alone with all the pain I was going through. How to survive alone. How to be happy with just to be yourself. It made me more wise, more compassionate towards others feelings. And most of all never taking granted those people who you love the most, enjoying every moment with my loved ones and mostly on my own. And not expecting too much from anyone. I am healing it will take time but definitely, I am not going to lose. Every day is a blessing and m trying to grab every bit of happiness.. love to everyone.
Gerald: Separating From My Partner Has Taught me… SO much about myself that…
1. I can be strong and independent.
2. Being in a relationship is not always happy and being single does not mean you are lonely.
3. It isn’t always about you.
4. Everyone you love isn’t forever. People come into your life for different reasons.
5. In each relationship, there is a lesson. In other words, you should become wiser in each relationship you have, eliminating wasted time on people who aren’t fit or compatible for you.
6. You may lose what you thought was the love of your life, but better to love than not to love.
7. Sometimes what you thought was love isn’t actually love.
8. A break-up can be a love reset.
9. When you are in a relationship, there is someone you often forget about.
10. Lastly, You should always love yourself first and know your worth.
Odette: Being in a Catholic community and close-knit tie family, it is hard to be part of a broken family. I struggled for years just to keep my marriage, to avoid criticism from society, relatives, and friends. But finally, I decided to leave my husband after 13 yrs of marriage and it taught me a lot in life. I learned to endure the pain but yet have to stand up to continue life. learned to be independent and to love myself more. I learned to balance work and family life. I become more appreciative and to focus on my values and dreams. I become more close to my parents and God…
Christine: Being together meant checking another box. I was there because that’s where I thought I was supposed to be. I was there to be who I thought I was supposed to be. Being separated allowed me to be who I was meant to be. It meant I could be the person I wanted to be. It meant focusing on me. Believing in me. I grew in that relationship, but I have now grown so I can be in a healthy happy relationship. Being separated taught me, screw those boxes and other expectations. Do what’s right for you!
Izabela: Separating from my partner has taught me that the person who should love me most in this world is myself and that I should always search my heart for the truth. This experience has also taught me that I should stop looking for happiness in others and take full responsibility for my life
Tracie: Separation from my husband has taught me that I am worthy of love. For ten years I was in an abusive marriage to a man with paranoid schizophrenia. I left with nothing, just our lives. For two years I lived in constant fear he would find us. I was suicidal, not because I was weak, I just grew exhausted. He told me no one would love me. My ex isolated me, began to turn my friends and family against me. Every door, every window was either drilled shut or deadbolted. For years I didnt leave because he was sick (he also had lukemia). Some days I thought of ways to die. My children and my belief in God saved my life. It took me years to truly believe in my value. God is merciful, he spared our lives and my husband’s life. He is homeless but alive. And for my prayers and obedience, God gave us a new house, a new car, a new job, renewed friendships, new adventures, new travel, and even new love interests! This journey has taught me I have what it takes to survive and thrive. I have what it takes to have deep faith in a higher power and trust his voice. I can raise honor students by myself. But mostly, that I deserve love, that I am desirable, and that kind of love… I am worth waiting for.
Malwina: Separation from my partner, being abandoned by my partner, being ghosted by my partner …yeh call it whatever suits your case, I went through it I’m sure. I’m a dating guru, or maybe how not to keep a man guru 🙂
It used to really bother me, I used to feel like the whole world collapsed each time. But finally, a day has come after being in countless relationships- short and long term, that I understood! In my mid-30s, it came to. The sense of completion even though I was alone. Alone but not lonely. It also allowed me to get into my passion again and writing a blog about relationships but also working on my novel about the state of singledom. Would I have ever done it if all went well and I didn’t “separate” from all those men? Who knows maybe I would be writing a book about a happily married couple 🙂
So for that thanks to all my exes xoxo
Sabrina: Separating From My Partner Has Taught me to be alone, not lonely.
Pranav: Separation from my partner has taught me the true value of my parents and my family. I was in a relationship when I was 16. This is that phase of the life where everyone gets attracted and the similar case was with me. When i got into a relationship, I started lying to my parents and i started giving more importance to my girlfriend. My relationship lasted for 2 years. My girlfriend did not want me to talk to other girls. She was very possessive. All of this was because she did not believe in me. This was for the first time when someone was putting restrictions on me. We fought for almost 10 months before we broke up. But during these 10 months, I thought a lot about my parents. My parents never restricted me, they always gave me my freedom and most importantly the love me the way I am. They never restricted me in doing anything. So I just thought of a simple thing that why am I giving more importance to a girl who had recently entered into my life than my parents who gave me birth and because of whom i am alive today. So finally one day I broke up with her. But from that day i am feeling so happy because I never lied to my parents and I don’t have any sort of stress that I am lying to them. Since that day I started loving my parents more than anyone else and i have created a great bond with my mom and my dad as well. They always love me the way i am. The biggest positive that I took from this relationship that I got my parents back. Now i am a happy single with a beautiful relationship with my parents.
May: A break up after being together in a beautiful relationship took me years to heal. With the right support & moving towards spirituality, the wounds healed and I moved on. We all need to release and find the right group of people who support your journey into recovery. Forgiveness to let go and learning to love oneself is to attract positive energy. Staying positive is the key to recovery.
It would be great to participate in this wonderful healing journey with you.
Fru: Separation from my partner has taught me that I am now getting the deserved punishment of a woman who couldn’t stand the pain of loving and who sought the happiness of being loved.
Nishelle: Separating from my partner has taught me that nothing is insignificant in my life it happened cause I’m worthy of the best and nothing less and the only best use of life is to love not just my ideal person but the real deserving person one with consumption, connection, and commitment.
Namit: Separation from my girlfriend has taught me that no matter what happens, you’ve got to move on. This was with my girlfriend where she kind of disappeared from my life and is no more a part of it, separation could be with anyone who is important to you, whether be it, friends or family.
You give it your best shot and keep trying until you realize that the other person does not want you to be a part of their life.
Suddenly you, their bundle of joy turn out to be a reason for their unhappy life, that is when I walked out and focused on things and people that make me happy and here I am now, Successful and HAPPY.
Poulomi: I was heartbroken initially. I slowly went into a phase where I kept thinking that nobody likes me and no one is there to support me. I used to spend my days locked up inside my room and browsing depressing things on the internet. I stopped caring about my health and this sudden change in myself was unacceptable to my parents. They tried a lot to make me laugh and bring my real self back but failed. One day, on the internet I came across a video featuring @youniverserevival which taught me that I am not alone. Your IG feed inspired me immensely and that’s when I discovered that I actually have people around me who cared about me. My parents, friends, myself and even this wonderful group of people in Ubud. I started to heal myself. I took great care of my diet and health. I started yoga, concentrated on studies and smiled more often. And guess what, soon I got placed in a software company! This made my parents so happy that I realized my happiness lies in their happiness. From then on wards, I made a decision of working hard, fly high, spread smiles, love myself and definitely visit you all one day. Thank you so much for helping me in finding the universe in myself
Islam: Separating from my girlfriend taught me that we only focus on today. Sometimes we care about money, career and how to climb the corporate ladder while forgetting that there are other things more important. The career will always come but happiness won’t and nothing can replace what’s lost.
Jei: “Separation taught me the true meaning of love for oneself. That I cant love someone without loving myself first before anyone else. You got to love and accept yourself first before the world accepts you.”
Sharon: Separated from my past showed me that I AM A STRONG WOMAN!
It showed me that I need to love ME!
And that Loving yourself means by not putting yourself in situations you wouldn’t want your love one to be in!!!
Separated from my past allowed me to see how beautiful the world is, and to be free from worries! I can see the stars now.
Being separated from my past made me realize how much MORE people i can love!!!!
Taught me how to exert my energy to those who will not only take but appreciate!
I was in abusive relationship for a year.
I was abused in anyways as possible.
I was manipulated to turn against my family, that I wasn’t good enough, that I’m a horrid woman who won’t be able to get real love except him!
I truly felt that my life on earth 🌏 was not important…
LOL boy was I naive to believe that! 😂😂😂
I think that is one thing I always laugh at!
I have grown to realize how powerful A lifetime could be, and i don’t mean the use the word the power as superior, but as somebody who understands how ONE LIFE can LOVE so much and DO so much!
Every second of my life matters because i am able to create a moment, a space of acceptance.
And that I believe is a life worth living!
Azziz: Divorce, this word can be a nightmare for someone like me, yup I’m one of the luckiest who has never been through any breakup or divorce yet. Happily married to my love since 6years approximately…
Separating from a partner can differ from person to person.
– One can start enjoying life freely
– Another might suffer from mental stress
– One can see more opportunities all around the world
– While another might limit their own world with no open doors.
– One might seek for another suitable partner keeping the last one in his/her mind
– While another might not be able to get into relationship ever for whatsoever reason.
These points can be endless, it’s all upon individuals and their relationship.
Audrina: Separating from my partner has taught me… That I don’t want to be alone forever.
My partner and I were together for 3 years and he was the love of my life, I was head over heels for him from the moment I met him. I would move mountains for him even if he didn’t ask. I was blinded by Love.
Maybe that’s why I ignored the red flags for so long, maybe that’s why I let him treat me the way I did, maybe that’s why I kept begging for him to take me back after he would break up with me for insignificant things (such as cuddling a dog, taking my family in town out for a night, or getting help in school from a male classmate).
Although none of those times I chose to separate from him, it wasn’t until the proposal. Something I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl, when the person I love gets down on one knee and ask me to marry them. Except his came with an ultimatum…. Marry me or I’ll kill myself….
It was at that moment I knew that this was not my fairytale, this was not my prince charming, this was not going to be my happy ending. I had to make the hardest decision of my life and say no, say no to the life I had dreamt of with him, say no to the manipulation, say no to what I thought was going to be a happy ever after.
I learnt that day that I had to put my brain in front of my heart and see through the love I had for this man and see his manipulation and mistreatment of me and my heart.
And from that I learnt that I don’t want to be alone forever, but I won’t compromise my happiness for a “picture perfect life” I won’t settle for someone who treats me less than what I am. And that one day sometime in this life time I’ll find that special someone and I won’t be alone forever.
Mostafa: Separating for my partner had taught me to never take someone for granted. To appreciate and indulge in every single moment and never hesitate to tell your feelings and show love constantly. This experience has taught me to accept myself with all my past mistakes and bad treats and accept others without obligations cause you will never understand what this person has passed through.
Lorinda: Separating from my partner has taught me that it’s okay to put my own oxygen mask on first and not to feel guilty about it. You know the speech you always hear from flight attendants before taking off? If you’re not okay how will you help others? So take care of yourself so that you are able to take care of others. It feels counter intuitive but it’s necessary.
Robert: He was my best friend, he knew what was in my heart more than anyone, and after him, I began to know what was in my own heart even more. I learned a lot from my partner, but I learned even more after our separation. He showed me what love is. He showed me the importance of vulnerability. He showed me the importance of growth. And he showed me the value in sharing. I have more information about myself now than I did before him and I learned my worth. I really do think that the narrative that we tell ourselves about our lives is powerful. Moreover, our reaction is something we can control. After the separation I learned to focus on particular parts of myself and I learned how to control my reactions a little bit more. I learned to accept the changing of times and most importantly learned to put special importance on the good. My partner came to me in a time of need and even though we are not together anymore I wouldn’t change that year for anything in the world. I grew up saying this phrase every night before bed “Ángel de mi guarda dulce compañía no me desampares ni de noche ni de día. No me dejes sólo que me perdería. Meaning, “Angel of my sweet guardian company do not abandon me neither at night nor during the day. Do not leave me alone, I would lose myself”. I use this phrase because I wanted him to be my guardian angel. The breakup was so hard for me to wrap my head around. He always said I was a part of him. I wanted to be with him always, but it did not end up that way. Life is funny, it twists and turns like a rollercoaster, but I am constant. I will be with myself for always and that is a guarantee whereas, nothing else is. In summery, I learned to become my own guardian angel, to trust my struggle, and to continue moving forward:)
Geovanna: Separation from my partner has taught me about loss. A breakup, a divorce, the passing of a loved one, separation from a pet, a dear friend, family or even health can bring pain and tears to anyone. Sometimes we are so strong that life gives us a combo of these things to teach us the most precious lesson, and that’s how my story went. I had the perfect husband, the perfect marriage, the perfect house and a happily ever after awaiting to be lived till the last of my days, and I AM SO HAPPY I LOST IT ALL. When you lose the floor you were standing on for so long, you have no choice but to start looking around and ask yourself, where is MY floor? So little by little I started from nothing, I used that pain as fuel to run every day, to cry my eyes out, to get out of bed and shower when all I wanted to do was melt into my bed. I had so much of that pain that I couldn’t handle it at times, I hurt myself and others, I numbed on the weekends and sometimes during the week. I saw the darkest parts of my soul and my ego and it was scary. I’m so thankful for it because that’s where I started to remember who I was, what I was. I was finally free to be whoever I wanted to be, to live a life I could be proud of. I realized I didn’t have to play a role to please people anymore, my life as a daughter was over, my life as a wife was over, it was finally time to be me. Happy third life to me! I’m loving this one as much as I love the previous ones because they led me into the light and out of the lifeless life I was living.
Faizan: Separation from my partner has taught me how to handle every situation because the time after brack up is tough for everyone once you handle it you can do anything in your life…😀
Asma: Separating from my partner has taught me that ….
A heart is big enough to encompass the love of the entire universe and is mighty enough to bear the threshold of pain.
Sunshyne: Separation from my partner has taught me that i can be strong and independent. It has also taught me to gain self-confidence. After being single for 12 years (recovered from the scar which my ex had left in me) i have learned to open up to loving myself again by meeting new people in my life. It has been 19 years now that i am single despite unsuccessful relationships, i am still hopeful that i will find someone to grow old with. Thru this journey, i have also helped many of my friends to overcome and leave their toxic relationships. It has given me great pleasure in helping others in their relationships even though i have yet to find myself in a relationship. But at the end of the day, the best relationship i ever had for the past 47 years of my life is…loving myself which is the main component before learning to love someone else.
Anjani: The hardest part about my relationship was realizing that I had got exactly what I had asked for. Down to details I could not have imagined, came true. There were so much love and respect for me. I was loved in a way I always wanted to be loved. And to see it within myself that I was incapable of accepting it. I always looked for a reason to leave just because I couldn’t accept being loved. “There had to be something wrong with our association, it isn’t possible for me to be loved like this”. This conviction leads to our inevitable separation.
But the love I have for this person and they want to be able to feel, accept and experience it made me heal in ways I am only grateful for.
It taught me….
That until I learn to love myself I could never appreciate the love I am given.
As long as I have me i have everything I could need from life.
Love is love is love is love.
To trust myself and my awareness
And to know we are beyond the human understanding WORTH and VALUE.
We are invaluable and deeply cherished
And we make our own choices, and that is our responsibility, what we can focus on is why or what did those choices serve.
And most importantly it taught me that until I learn to love, respect and appreciate myself unconditionally I will always doubt the love and generosity of the universe around me.
And I am the creator of my reality!
Chiara: Separating from my partner has taught me to be a better person. I have grown up and have become more respectful, understanding and less anxious on some matters. I have developed a more rational and realistic way of thinking and I have understood that I just want a healthy relationship from now on.
Ash: Love is beautiful. On that note, after breaking up from a toxic relationship, I didn’t believe I deserved love. One day it hit me, love is inside of me already. To accept love, you need to love yourself first. And after doing so I realized there’s so much love out there I deserve. Being on your page and Dear Alyne’s I realized just that. So thank you so much for spreading love and kindness to the world. You both have inspired me to go out there and achieve my dreams in spite of the hardship of a toxic relationship I endured last fall. My next journey is finding my tribe and purpose. I hope our paths cross one day.
P.S I’m not the best writer so I hope what I wrote above makes sense.
Siva: It thought me nothing is permanent in this world.
Shawn: Separating has me feeling unpowered. That if he’s with me or not. I can and do things without the need of someone right there. I can explore, discover and try new things and still have just as much excitement and adventure all by myself.
Sumati: Separating from my partner has taught me all kinds of pain that my body and soul can feel… It can hollow one to an extent which is beyond words and can only be felt. Having said that, I have learned with time that all of us beautiful human beings can cope up with the most difficult situations even if we believe we cant. We have heard from gazillion people i am sure that ‘time heals’ well, I dint believe it once but it truly does.
You will be alright.
Marie: Separating from my partner had taught me that only I am responsible for my happiness
Juli: Separation has taught me that I don’t need anyone but myself to be great and accomplish all my dreams. Also, it taught me to be happy because of me, and love myself no matter what people think.
Sofia: Separating from my partner has taught me that hurt can only make us stronger, that as a woman I can face anything in this world and be happy by myself.
Harleen: Separation from my partner has taught me how separated I was from myself. It has taught me that I am enough and that I can’t fully love or be loved until I learn to love myself and be my authentic self. It has taught me that everyone has open wounds that they need to tend to..only then will someone they really are meant to be with shows up in their life. It has taught me that unless you love in your essence and embrace who you truly are, unless you live with consciousness, you won’t attract that which is truly meant to be..that which is healthy. Unconditional love is that which empowers and sets you free. We attract what we are or lack (to learn the right lessons). Peace!
Paradero: For 5 years of being a single mom..separating from my partner taught me that family is always a family even though I choose my partner and live with him and that’s against my family still they accept me when me and my partner separate.. They help me raising my kids building my self again and I learn to value my worth and love my kids more and learn to not just dream but to pursue what I want for me and my kids… love your self and love your family coz in the end family is the only treasure we had.
Geh: Separation from my partner has taught me that if you’re prepared to love, you must also be prepared to be hurt. You are the one who chooses your destiny, so enjoy and be responsible for what you’ve chosen.
Daria: The separation of my partner taught me many things!
1. That where today I do not respect, there is no love.
2. That you do not have to give up being yourself because a broken heart recovers faster than a lost identity!
3. That you do not beg me for love!
4. That life is not to suffer!
5. That with a divorce the world does not end!
6. That life goes on!
7. That although you have children you do not have to stay in a failed marriage!
8. That you have to value yourself!
9. That you have to love yourself!
10. What is not worth being with someone who does not respect you, does not love you!
That and much more taught me the separation of my partner!
Naheda: Separation=Liberation, from abuse, mistrust, manipulation. Separation=Freedom to live, enjoy, and love.
Benita: Like Maya Angelou’s quote “ Love Liberates”
Sometimes through a breakup, the most healing thought is “ Love liberates, it doesn’t bind. I’ll let you go if you feel happier because I love you this much. And I will try my best to sincerely be happy for you and myself for this freedom”. This thought not only makes me feel relieved but also makes me feel good about myself because of my ability to choose love.
Therefore, separating from a partner teach me the meaning of true love. Always choose love
Stavroula: Separation from my partner has taught me not to depend only on others, on him. You must learn to depend on yourself because people come and go. Don’t give up on you, on your strength, on your bravery, on your abilities to do anything you want and work hard for. Don’t hold only on your partner, don’t give up on your dreams for his, don’t put you self second. Put yourself BESIDE your partner, your dreams and his on the same route. Try to create the world you want together. Make sacrifices but also ask for some. Learn to fight for both not only for him not only for you. Both. And if things don’t work out as you hoped or dreamt, all the above will help you continue from where you left things. You won’t be left with anything. You won’t be at the beginning of the path. You will just need to make a turn and continue on your own. With yourself, by yourself. Hand by hand with your bravery and hopes.
Jia: Separation taught me the raw nature of life, how something so fragile can leave you voided for life. No matter what you do ( cry, scream in agony, be furious, punish yourself, etc) what’s gone is long gone and it’s never going to be the same again.. so I chose to come out strong, make best of my life for MYSELF, living each day for myself. Being kind to myself and others because YOLO
Khan: Separating from my partner has taught me to not depend on anyone. I got the courage to stand up for my self and walked out of the relationship without looking back. I used that as motivation to never be in that position again. Today i am a successful medical degree holder and i keep striving to make myself better, independent and above all HAPPY
Crystal: Separating from my partner tonight me to be able to count on myself, to grow into my own skin and move forward owning my own actions. Alone i learned a love of travel and adventure. A love of accepting my own failure s as well as my success, aclots of meeting new people, a love of being alone and contented.
A deep understanding of what is ok for me, to me and to be done by me.
Ombeline: Separating from my partner has taught me that a partner should always be an added value, not a part of you!
I learned to love myself as who i truly was – strengths and weaknesses, passions and fears, certainties and doubts.
In that relationship, i felt that I relied so much on that partner that he had become part of my identity (i was the “girlfriend of”), and in turn forgot about who i was as a whole.
This separation made me realize that a partnership is not about two halves making a whole, but two wholes loving each other and thriving separately and together.
Caitlin: Separating from my partner taught me the importance of self-love, being confident in myself and my abilities even when I don’t receive any support from anyone, and to never settle for less than what I deserve out of fear.
Erin: Through divorce, I learned the true meaning of the saying “it takes two.” It’s so true, but I hadn’t realized the reality of my situation – that he wasn’t in the relationship as much as I was. I was also reminded that “never” (or “forever”) is any guarantee of either of those things. People change & grow apart, and this can often be healthy. Don’t push the relationship to stay together when it’s over…. doing so doesn’t make a relationship healthy when it wasn’t healthy, to begin with. I also learned that having fun with yourself during the transition of divorce (or separation) is an important part of the healing process. Every new adventure you have during this time allows for distraction and new beginnings.
Jule: Separating from my partner has thought to me that everyone can always leave. Always.
Jesse: Separating from my partner has taught me that i should always give it my best at all times and show my true self as we all don’t know when you will lose the people you love or when they finally decide to walk away. Its been almost 6 months and i am still not healed and i am kind of just living day by day yet dying at the same time. It’s gotten even worse than when i left this comment before editing.. I am crying at random times now even at work. 😭 It’s such a painful process. Idk what the breakup has taught me except mentally messed me up. I never knew i could be this weak
Zhi: The separation of him taught me how to love someone, stand by with someone but also taught me how to let go and still be peace.
Sayantani: Just wanted to wish you love from all the people..all over the world. Remember just 1 thing… it’s good to important…but it’s more important to be good!
Sana: Separating from my partner has taught me that one doesn’t have to necessarily marry or commit a long term relationship in order to prove or exercise your love for the person.
When you love a person, his well being and progress become so important that the idea of caging love in a commitment does not remain primary.
Not having the reassurance of love and clearly letting go of the idea of spending the whole life loving together is very very difficult but you have to let better sense prevail. <\3
May all the people in love with each other find each other and don’t have to go through the pain of letting go. May we all prosper and find contentment.
Luis: Separating from my partner has taught me that
I Am the storm and the wave,
That when i thought i was loosing my mind i was gaining my soul,
That time alone was making me one with the All,
That there’s no second chances,
That life makes you strong,
That I don’t always get what I want but always get what I need,
That I’m actually pretty good at being alone, that I find myself 1,000 different times everyday, That i was looking outside myself when i should have been going Within,
How to Be myself and be at peace with me,
to fully accept, endorse me, empower me, How to live happy in the moment, to kiss the sky and pray at many moments, silence the outside noise and be fearless, that I was missing me and now that i have found me I won’t give up this feeling for just anything.
Nona: Separating from my partner has taught me that love remains love and if he breaks up with you and he lost the feelings for you doesn’t mean yours are also lost. It doesn’t matter how painful the break up was i could never hate you and i can continue to love him. Because when i said my love is true love i mean it. I am not supporting the idea of love yourself more and more… I think its really selfish. My idea is love others as much as you love yourself.. And learn to forgive… Forgive and it will bring peace to your soul.. Continue to value your feelings continue to care about others continue to be better for yourself but also for others… And if a boy breaks up with you.. Maybe he also has his problems maybe he needs some time alone and later he will come back to you.. Dont judge everything… Try to be patient try to listen to others and give as much love as you can… This world needs people that care about others more then they care about themselfs
Swati: Life is too short for regrets and pain!
Anna: Separating From My Partner Has Taught me I don’t need love and validation from a particular person to feel loved and good about myself, love is all around me
Diane: I am enough. I am a big girl. But that doesnt discount my intelligence or experience. I turned it to the positive. Working as a swim coach helping those who never understood what their bodies are capable achieve things the couldn’t imagine. I am plus sized, but that doesnt stop me, it fuels me
Nur: Separating From My Partner Has Taught Me fetish can destroy 3 years of love, family bonding, struggle, understanding & sharing dreams.
Kris: Separating from someone you once loved, cherished and adored, makes you feel unwanted and not worthy of receiving love. I learned that noone has the right to make me feel bad about myself as for noone can make me feel loved and worthy unles I start doing that myself. So thats my lesson and im so gratefull for it
Srishti: Separating from my partner has taught me that I exist, matter and I have much more to offer to this universe than just unconditional love to that one person…
Noor: Everything that happens in life is for a reason and it teaches us something or the other. Let it be love or separation or failure or success, a new life or death or anything that comes across you have a lesson.
And for me separation from my girlfriend (imaginary) taught me not to overthink and be selfish for some time, live for your self once in a while, always caring for others and loved ones sometimes take away your self love which is somewhat good and bad at the same time.
And no one here needs a remedy for breakups and separations and all.
Time is the best healer it heals everything even the deepest wounds.
Giving time to your self no matter where you are what you do, makes a difference.
Aishwarya: Separating from my partner has taught me to be calm, composed, forgiving and to move on. Well, to be honest, i am not like divorced or moved away from my spouse. For me, separation is going without talking for days when we have a misunderstanding and we do have that a lot. It is very hard and tiring when it turns out we are 2 different people with different ambitions but we get back to our lives and work it through to give the best life for our son. My spouse is a very good human. It’s just that we are very different and it took a lot of time, effort, understanding to be where we are. The whole experience has changed me to be a more independent, hard working, more ambitious individual like never before! That’s all. Btw the dearalyne community is awesome and very inspiring. Thanks to you!
Dona: Separating from my partner taught me that I needed to stop searching for my other half, but to be whole myself, in order to find another whole. It was unhealthy to search for myself in others, to find a piece of that confidence, those good looks, a certain personality, a career— I needed to feel complete again and to trust myself and laugh without a care in the world. I learned to cherish the people who stuck it through my ups and downs, embrace all my stretch marks, physical and mental, and continue to trek through life while embracing my diverse identity as it is.
Kayla: I learned that I have the strength within me to overcome life’s most unexpected adversities.
Kavi: Separation made me to realize how stupid I was for believing blindly! It taught me so much. . ..Don’t expect anything from anyone, accept everything in life whatever comes – just accept it, even the minutes may change whether it is happy or sad, actually it made me stronger and shows how the world works! Well it made my entire idea about life in a ddifferent perspective but I am ready to deal with it…. However the situation, it made me to see only the positive side… Emotional pain is a killer than physical pain… I realized it and mastering to control my emotions…..
Amalia: I am 63 years old and have been through a divorce, a death and a breakup with a married man. I am now married again. Separation and loss are hard. They take a lot of time, but ultimately, if we are willing to heal they lead to growth and the ability to create a better, more heartfelt relationship. In each of the relationships, I hit a wall, wanting from my partner something they couldn’t give me. When the relationship ended I found that I could do it by myself with the help of the community. I could care for my children. I could be viable financially and I could even deal with loneliness without a partner. But the most important thing I learned was to take my difficulties and learn from them to help others. When my husband left me, I felt ashamed but as I reluctantly shared my situation an older woman told me, “Oh, I’m on my third husband, you’ll survive”. That gave me hope and the feeling that I was not alone in this situation. I have supported many a young woman and man in their navigation of this time after a relationship. It is a time of accelerated growth, of coming into our own, learning what we need in life beyond what our society and family expected us to achieve. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to grow into one’s self and to see others blossom. And now in my current relationship, I find that I have better boundaries and better expectations from a partner and I am ready to continue my own growth by knowing my own worth and keeping my independence. I can then also give room for my husband to grow. We walk together and apart, enjoying each other’s company but being true to our deeper nature.
Vlad: Separation has taught me most of all what true forgiveness stands for and that love should be nothing more than freedom and liberation where we must stay calm & centered and try not to judge what is happening. Surrendering to the process and holding firm in the knowledge of what is being birthed. The process of birthing is an awesome undertaking, an arduous process of metamorphosis, often fought with intensity. The butterfly is a marvelous demonstration of the power of trust & vulnerability & in the miracle of metamorphosis. After all, what is a butterfly if not the flowering of caterpillar beyond its wildest dreams? Emerging from the womb of the chrysalis, the butterfly discards its restrictive silk and shell, to inherit a magical new world of flowers, breezes & sunshine. A world of freedom & delight & a celebration of its divine nature. Spreading her wings for the first time, she has no idea whether she can fly, she simply opens her wings in perfect confidence & is effortlessly conveyed into the spiral dance of graceful flight.
And all that then remains is the joyous participation in the divine ecstasy of creation where we grow conscious, whole and free ❤
Diana: The learning process was hard and took ages, it is actually an ongoing process. The most precious lesson I learned was that no matter how deep the pain is, you have to go through it with a bleeding heart. The more disconnected from yourself, the harder the breakup. It is not about losing love, that can never be lost if it ever existed. It is about having the power to love in the absence of the loved one.
Katta: Separation from the mam I thought I loved and I did love him like a pure heart would let the feeling pierce it😊. It taught me that nothing happens by chance. It taught me now that smth better was aligned for me, in the idea that it taught me that communion in the heart stands for profound orgasm, that communion is about same hearts, sameness in spirit thus in the body and heart.
Taylor: Separating from my partner has taught me that even if I had known that I would end up heartbroken – I don’t regret being vulnerable or loving fully for one minute.
Lyna: It was not easy going through a separation, I felt lost and blamed myself. I constantly thought that I caused it to happen but actually, every relationship is a process between two people, so both are responsible for the separation. I’ve learned to keep telling myself that I’m good enough and it’s okay to be alone. I forgive myself and my ex, now I’ve moved on as the world is waiting for me to embrace. Keep an open mind and positive thinking made me survive these past few years.
Mark: We are One. In the light of my eyes, I am knowing that it brings myself into a Divine notion. And it is my Heart and Soul as well of this brightened adorn, to know I have found you.
Rose: Separation from my partner has taught me… to LIVE and never lose myself once again.
Nila: Here’s what I’ve learned and would tell my younger self in 2 words:
T U S T. Y O U R S E L F.
A breath of truth. There will be moments in your life after your heart got broken when you don’t know what to do.
Moments when you think you will hear your heart rip apart.
Moments in which you believe that nothing has a meaning.
Moments in which you might even believe that there is no sense in you being here.
I know those moments.
I have lived through these moments and thoughts almost half my life over and over again.
I had the feeling somehow not to be right in this world, as if I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I looked everywhere for a home, a place where I would feel safe and secure.
I’ve traveled all over the world to find this place and finally just to feel for one day the way I am, I’m right.
I wanted to hear it, I wanted to see it, I wanted to feel it. Again.
But it didn’t come.
Until the day I started being honest to myself and allowed myself to find this home within me.
Just inside me.
Just like that.
Without anyone having seen it.
Without anyone having said it.
I started letting go, letting go of all the innumerable ideas about who I should be, what I should do, and gradually I discovered in myself a person who was so full of infinite love and allowed me to share this love – simply because it is my nature.
Ever since that day of realisation I heal, every day a little bit more.
Let me tell you this:
There will be moments when you will doubt everything.
At those moment, remember that the reason why you doubt is that you know deep inside that love is the answer and that the world outside unfortunately only asks the wrong questions.
You have to ask yourself what you need today. What food are you craving, which colours do you want to see, what kind of people can make you happy today?
Do this. Just this. And trust me that everything will be ok.
One day at the time.
Today just trust. Let go. Open your heart and experience the magic, that is your life! That’s what I would tell my younger self before going through a breakup like this. Which actually ended up being the greatest breakTHROUGH that I ever experienced! I would love to join you and share my story in Bali my home away from home 🦋✨💭
Vite: Well for me being separated and married to the one i don’t love is a really big mistake.. i thought that it will work coz we already married, the things that i learned from it was not only just for me but for every one that has plan to get separated is to find the real love of your life, dont mistreat ladies they deserve to be love and care. If you don’t love them, just tell them straight. Moving forward, hate to say this guy but we deserve to get hurt rather than hurt the woman that love us. Im not cleansing my hands upon this msg. But i still have a conscience. To the person who love me that much hope, you found the right guy for you. I just wanted you to be happy and im sorry i couldnt give you the love that you deserve.
Linda: Separating from my Partner has taught me: I should never lose myself in any relationship (again) and go in search for happiness inside you, not on the outside
Manshi: Separating from my Partner has taught me to view Genuine and Namesake Emotions held by People around us… It took time but I learned who are genuine people in family, close friends or workplace while who are Wanderers who are just trying to pass their time playing with our emotion or looking a way to cut their time in their pass-over phase…
The breakup was really tough but gave me the strength to find my true soul who didn’t change anything within me while made me realize I am good at heart and love to solve other problems which satisfy me the most… Breakup taught me to respect my own self and appreciate my Good Qualities which should never change for anyone…
Anshita: It has taught me to breathe; breathe for my own self. It has taught me that love never leaves but you have to choose between what you want & what’s good for you. It taught me that I owe myself a journey to learn ahead. It has taught me everything can go away & yet everything can stay. It has taught me to value my own heart and what it needs. It has taught me to live with courage and I know I’m weak at times. But I’m learning still & I will continue without any regrets. God bless him ! Maybe it was not meant to be & maybe I need to let this go
Øpæh: I was once was in love
We’ve been togetger for 1yr and 4months
I was so comitted to him
I feel attach that i even forgot who my self was
The day after break up i attempt suicide that i started cutting my wrist using a blade😢
I was so hurt that i don’t know what another step to take for i know that starting over will be difficult.
My family got separated when i was 16
My mom got married and my dad stays single and looked after us
I was with my dad for 1yrs(2017) and i moved to mom and was with her for 2yrs(2018-2019)
I got a lot of things running inside my mind that i don’t know what to think of dying and leaving every pain behind or just go through it bearing the pain inside.
As i was lying at the hospital bed…My dad couldnt resists his tears that he prayed to God …i heard him asking God why him? Why does his children has to go through his painful life? I cried as i lay on the hospital bed thinking to myself what have i done
I realized that being in a relationship with someone makes you feel far away from ur loved ones…makes you forget ur true identity…makes you forget ur life…and when that someone hurts you, the only people who get hurt the most are ur family..the one who is close to you from the starting…who is always there by ur side 😢
The words my dad told me touched my heart that crying is all i can do
This was his words:
MY DEAR CHILD…THE PAIN YOU GO THROUGH WAS BECAUSE OF ME AND UR MOTHER
IF IT WASN’T FOR US…YOU WOULDN’T BE SEARCHING FOR WHAT YOU’VE LOST AND THAT IS LOVE
OUR SEPARATION HAS KEPT THE SIBLINGS APART AND HATRED AMONG US
IT HAS TAKEN AWAY OUR LOVED FOR EACH OTHER THAT HAS MADE EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY IN PAIN
BUT ATTEMPTING SUICIDE ISNT WORTH IT
YOU LEAVE AND LEFT THE PAIN BEHIND BUT WHO BEARS MORE PAIN.. UR FAMILY WILL…
EVEN THOUGH ME AND UR MOTHER ARE NOT TOGETHER WE DIDN’T STRUGGLE TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS
YOUR MOTHER DIDNT CARRY YOU FOR 9 MONTHS TO SEE YOU CUT UR WRIST
I DIDNT STRUGGLE FOR 17 YEARS TO SEE YOU IN PAIN FOR ALL I DO IS TRY AND PUT A SMILE ON THAT FACE
I turned to the side of my bed as i saw my siblings hugging each other with tears falling from their cheek …my younger sister (age 7) came up to me and said ”PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME…PLEASE DONT HURT ME FOR YOU’RE ALWAYS HAVING MY BACK…FIGHTING WITH THE ELDEST SISTER NOT TO HIT ME…FOR YOU ARE ALWAYS MAKING ME SMILE..HAPPY” do you wanna hurt me like mom did…do you want me to go arnd letting everyone know that i have a sister who killed herself
Her words filled my heart with tears as i asked God forgiveness that i was to blind to realized that FAMILY was the only people I’ve been looking for but couldnt see it
I’ve realized that family goes through alot of pain more than anything
WHAT I’VE KNOWN ABOUT SEPARATION IS THAT IT KILLS THE FAMILY BOND AND PUT HATRED AMONG THEMSELF
SEPARATION OR BREAKUP LEADS TO UNFORGIVING PAIN AND SORROWS THAT WE INTEND TO FORGET ABOUT OURSELFS AND WHAT FAMILY IS
SEPRATION LEADS TO SIBLINGS SEPARATION😢
THAT CAUSE OUR YOUNG ONES TO FEEL PAIN RATHER THAN LOVED
SEPARATION CAN ALSO BE THE REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE STRONG EVEN TO MOVE ON
BUT SEPARATION IS ALSO WHY SOME PEOPLE KEPT ASKING THEMSELVES WHY ME?
BREAKUP,SEPARATION,OR DIVORCE…IT ALL COMES IN ONE FEELING OF PAIN WHICH HURTS FROM THE INSIDE AND TAKES TIME TO HEAL FROM THE OUTSIDE
Lauren: Separating from my partner(s) taught me that you deserve to have a full life of respect, love, happiness and comfort every day. And to chase after that no matter what the situation is. I wouldn’t be where I am today without my experiences and I thank them for making me realize that I am enough, maybe i was too much for them! Their loss!
I’ve found my world now with someone who agrees with chasing after respect, love, happiness, and comfort, and it’s the best feeling ever to finally share that with someone
Malu: A breakup is always painful for those who have invested in the relationship.
We invest our time, efforts, emotions. We invested our life into it.
However, the illusion of having lost a part of ourselves does not at all mitigate the pain we bear.
Instead, we make things worse and more painful to endure.
A breakup is an invitation to become either better or bitter,
and I hope we come to senses to always choose the former.
If things did not work, you are making yourself vulnerable to more hurts if you push it harder.
If things do not work, they simply do not.
If they do not work now, what are the chances that they will work in the future?
If mistakes were made and you want to give another chance, it’s up to you – your shot, your call!
We know ourselves better, we have an idea of the threshold we have for pain,
and I hope we dare not subject ourselves to the pain we can hardly bear.
What you can stand, others might not.
Your choices give the world an idea how strong, weak, shrewd or stupid you are.
Our worth is more than a breakup,
It’s not the end of the world for one who has just broken up,
Believe me, you’ll get by, you’ll get through this.
It’s just that, pain will not go away in a snap.
Feel what you ought to feel right now.
Cry if you must and if you really love yourself,
You’d know when you’ve already shed too much emotions over something not meant to last.
Go, pick up yourself and get a great, grand life you deserve!
Anda: Hi, I am Anda from Romania. I am going through divorce after 15 years of living with my husband. Separation from my partner has taught me that the truth is sometimes so scary, that your own mind creates this elaborate lie that you continue to believe and, the truly bizare thing, is that you don’t only believe yourself to be an example of happily married woman, but you can’t conceive surviving without him. Three months ago he came up to my work place and told me bluntly that the man who has loved me for the past 15 years no longer exists, that he met someone, fell in love and expects me to give him the chance to explore his feelings…in exactly so many words, out of the blue, with no previous hint. We were the spliting image of the perfect couple and my state of shock multiplied over and over again as friends and family found out and were completely struck. For two weeks i ate forced by him or by my sister and lost 5 kilos; i went through several panick attacks daily, i could barelly feel the soals of my feet and stand; I couldn’t go outside, go to work or talk to the rest of my family, because I was ashamed of being a failure. After two therapy sessions, I came to realize that the man whom I loved for 15 years no longer exists and let go. I then came to understand that he wasn’t who I thought he was all along and that I hadn’t been happy for the past two years. I remembered I had a moment of lucidity and saw the truth in its ugliest form, but we were both so terrified, we burried it and continued to lie to ourselves into thinking we were happy and we should try to make a baby; we even moved into a bigger apartment.
I recently discovered simple things that make me happy, things I thought I lost or were no longer considered important, in my chase of making him happy and being someone that I wasn’t. It’s still hard to rethink my whole existence, who I am and what I am passionate about without constantly trying to be the perfect woman for a man that was probably never my perfect man. But life isn’t worth living for its perfection, but for the little imperfections which make us human and worth loving.
My heart goes to every single woman who struggles with separation, it’s so heartbreaking, but you’ll get there, be strong!
Hanieza: Separating from my partner (the one i never had but hoped for) has taught me to have no regrets. Not even a single letter.
I was in a post-breakup finding myself again situation. Its 3 am i was having a hard time sleeping, I was sleepy but my mind was occupied, my body wanna rest but my mind is up and about trying to rationalize things. With the silence of the night, the darkness of the sky and the smell of peppermint and lavender radiated by my diffuser to the entirety of my bedroom. It was serene and calm but it felt empty. I was scrolling in the AppStore and searched social then bunch of dating apps showed. I decided to try tantan. The distance is just set to within 100km radius. Few swipe to the right and a whole lot of swipes to the left. Got some matches, few conversations started but ended too soon. Pointless i thought. Then I got this match, i was about to uninstall the app but thought to myself, hey! Why not give it a shot. I’m not looking for any meetups, I was just bored and wanted to fall asleep. But this match was quite different. I was normal. Normally good, not like the rest who you can tell clearly wants to flirt. This one was just the conversation i needed. We talked for days in the app and it felt happy. Happy place. I was comfortable. I was me. After so long trying to fit and trying to be someone im not, this time I felt me. He was far. The northern part of the Philippines and I was in the south. Maybe the works of the universe? I just set the match distance to 100km yet he showed up.at the right swipe at the right time. Days went by, I uninstalled the app but we talked on whatsapp. We shared stories, like was heroes sharing our experiences. We had our friday night life on video call drinking to our favorite shots. Laughed and laughed and laughed. It was genuine. It was an escape. We were both finding ourselves. We were being closed. Too close yet so far. We were both happy and relieved of our miserable lives. For a sec we were just two happy souls sharing our pieces of cakes. We were compatible, thats what i thought at least. But, at moments like these you’d realize, that it is not yet time. I need to stop myself because I know we still need healing. He needs to heal and be whole. He needs to experience life. Life without trying to be with someone. Life as it is. And i know that if I keep this up I would be expecting. I don’t want to be disappointed. I cant be. Because it will be unfair. So for me not to expect is we needed to go on our separate ways. We had our moments. But it needed to end while we are still happy. Stop yourself before its too late. I don’t want to be selfish, that’s the last thing he needs right now. And I can’t settle for less. He was the ideal guy that i have pictured in my head. Someone who brings the real me out of my shell. Who knows the universe might decide to cross our paths again. When the time is right. When we are whole. When we are ready. The days were short but it was what i needed. No regrets. Not even a single letter.
Fadhilla: After years of loving and giving each other our very best… separating with my partner has taught me that sometimes love isn’t enough.
There are so many factors that could easily ruin love that was once so unconditional. Religion, culture, upbringing, finance, clashed personality, family, miscommunication, and how these affected how you are being treated and how you treated the other are just some from a wide variety of factors that could change who you are.
My love story is just that.
I loved with all heart, and i still very much do. But my love came with a price: losing my sense of self.
Prioritizing the other’s life beyond mine, others family beyond my own, other’s goals and plans beyond my own needs.
I lost a carefree person that i once was, to an insecure person that i became.
Fearing of being abandoned for I’ve given everything.
Now that i have nothing to be insecure about anymore and i have no more fear in losing anybody.
Separating with my partner taught me that while love isn’t enough, self-love is.
Separating with my partner taught me the ability to gain back confidence that I’ve lost, to lose the insecurity that i felt, and to face the world with a tougher mentality and stronger sense of self-maturity.
It’s still a long way to go. But separating with my partner taught me how to grow.
Crystal: I was taught I am light.I’m on my journey alone for 3 yrs since my last abusive relationship. I’m scared to let go and trust again.
I’ve come so far..but still feel the dark presence after much hard self-work and awakening..what a true blessing this would be.
I’m ready for more healing guidance and teachings. My mission & dream is to also help others!
Blessings love & light
Hanna: my life was a mess when I was with my partner as I wasn’t happy. separating from my partner gives me freedom, I become confident, I feel lighter these days. I had to take an antidepressant while I was with him, but these days I’m happy without any medication. I’m doing my job perfectly, thinking about my further studies. I think this separation has gifted myself the “real me”.
Jagruti: Separation taught me that time has the power to heal any sorrow, person you think you cannot live without and you think your life will be stopped after the breakup just give yourself the right amount of time you will be healed for sure just like me… I thought this can’t happen to me anyways and I was not able to get out of it… But gradually I started working on my passion and after giving the right amount of time to myself I recovered…
Ankur: Separating from my partner has taught me that:
Life starts getting better when things look the darkest,
Because after every night there is a day.
The day may not be the brightest,
But it does bring with it a ray.
A ray of joy and happiness, of pain or heal,
It’s just about the way we feel.
Ajai: I divorced the union and reunited with myself.
Jill: A seven-year survivor of a high conflict divorce after escaping a 16-year-old emotionally abusive marriage. Being there for my three boys was all that kept me going for the longest time, but now I am discovering that to really be there for them I need to work on me and healing myself so that I can have a life beyond them. Simply living for them means I am putting too much on them. And I don’t want them to hesitate for moment on the life they are meant to live because of concerns their mother will be alone. I need them to see that I am good on my own terms and that I am more than just their mother. I gave them a great gift by getting out of a bad marriage, but I am not sure I am successful yet in showing them how to be truly happy with yourself.
Pamela: I learned how amazing I am as an individual. I have begun to experience who I am and who I want to be. I’ve found strength and resilience in the midst of ask the heartbreak and betrayal. I went from never having been alone to being painfully forced into this life I thought would be so hard, stressful, lonely… but I accepted it, and I am learning daily that I don’t need anyone except for me. I prove to myself daily what a badass I am and I’m so excited to continue on this journey of self-love and to teach my daughters what being an independent woman looks like.
Saumya: Separating from my partner has taught me that I will find completeness only from within. There is nobody else who can come in and make me feel complete because I was born complete and then my environment conditioned me to expect love and affection of a certain kind. Craving that, I went after one partner and then the next, always turning up short eventually because what makes me tick- only I can truly discover and know that. And till I’ve not discovered the entire immensity of being myself, I can’t expect another human being to treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
Joia: Separating from partners of my past has taught me to honor the shedding of skin and to remember the power of rebirth. I learned to navigate the crumbling reality of a shared identity, the death of a third being known as the relationship, an entity of its own, birthed from love vanished. I released the shared parts of me entwined with the other, and was left there, seemingly alone and yet closer to source than ever before. Held in despair, in the illusion of love leaving, I have tried to retrace myself in the pain, to find myself again as if in glee, on the tips of verdant rice swaying in the wind, in the depths of the ocean caressing me in formlessness, and in the process of rebuilding my sacred inner sanctums, piece by piece, moment by moment. I wish I could say that the knowing of love within is cast in concrete, while the rest of me flows like water, but it is not yet so. I have yet to access the full wellspring of love within me. I am still fumbling, afraid of loss, of letting go of the traces, footprints, and memories of moments unborn, promises and visions wrapped in gold masquerading for what can only be within.
I am reminded of the Hopi creation story where creator says, “I want to hide something from the humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality.” The eagle suggests creator take it to the moon, but creator knows humans will one day travel there and find it. The salmon suggest creator bury it at the bottom of the ocean, but creator knows they will go there too. The buffalo suggests burying it in the Great Plains, but creator knows humans will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it there too. Finally, “Grandmother who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with spiritual eyes said, “Put it inside of them.” And the Creator said, “It is done.”
And so I am excavating my heart, trying to unearth the knowledge that I create my reality but also the love that can only be inside of me. I do so lovingly, reverently, like a grandchild delicately sponging away dirt from her elder’s skin. Today, I am facing another separation. My highest self speaks to me and says, ‘You trace the rainbow, eternally seeking a pot of gold that will complete you, bring you back to wholeness when the gold has always been within you’. My lower self resists the journey of self-discovery, clinging to the temptation of false security in another. I accept my fears with grace while holding the knowing that I am ready to transcend them. I wish to heal and to become a reverberating deluge of love rippling out into the world. I wish to embody the gentleness of a whisper and the ferocity of a volcano, to integrate my shadow and my light, and become the healer I was born to be. My heart is cracked open, my embrace as wide as the horizon, welcoming all assistance with grace and reverence. Thank you for reflecting my essence and listening to my story with spiritual eyes. With Love ~ Joia
Effie: Separating from my partner has taught me that true love cannot make miracles as I used to believe. My wound might not be my mistake, but my healing is my responsibility.”
Socary: Separating from my partner has taught me that i’m THE ONE I’ve been searching my whole life! After falling on my knees due to another betrayal, I decided to take this opportunity to dive deep within me and see why I keep choosing the wrong men that hurt me. It has been a painful pattern! After chasing love in the wrong places, I discovered that the love I need to cherish and hold sacred is the love for mySELF and my relationship with myself. As a result, A whole world has opened up for me and where before I saw limitations now I see opportunities and expansion for personal growth. It all comes down to making a decision to walk toward the darkness in order to see the most magnificent light!
Atena: Well the story I’m about to tell you isn’t about a divorce, nor about a lover or a toxic relationship. It is, however, the story of a young girl who’s found her soulmate and loved him so much she ended up losing herself.
We were still kids, it still felt like we had the world at our feet and that we would never grow up. I was foolish enough to put all my hope and happiness in him. But when he walked away, it felt like my universe had fallen apart. How did little old me manage to get over all that by herself still feels unreal? But one thing is clear: once I learned to get back on my feet there’s been no going back. That little shy girl soon became a brave woman who wasn’t afraid to walk this world alone. I learned to speak up and to make my voice heard. Before I realized, I was no more a child. But I was someone I could’ve only seen myself in my imagination as.
You see, I wanted to bring this up because too many people seem to forget that you can be hurting even when you’re young. Adults say that it’s normal to struggle – that’s what we should do while we’re still teens. That youth is youth only if it hurts. But I don’t want to believe that. After I lost him I needed to accept the dark times and to only remember them as part of beautiful moments. I wanted to feel youthful for as long as I could, ’cause there’s no point in crying over a bad love when years pass and I’m never going back. So I lived my life getting lost in new cities and sitting in pretty cafes with pretty views and writing while sipping on my coffee. I hiked more and stargazed more. I wanted to feel alive and thankful for my breath and to write it all down just the way it was -so clearly that I feel it in my bones and remember it exactly when reading again – whether it’s after 3 months or 3 years. ‘Cause paper is cheaper than going back, and the ink lasts more than my memories do. I lived every day counting my blessings and getting reminded of the days I used to pray for becoming who I am now.
So I want to give you a reminder that whatever part of your life you are at at the very moment, it is going to be fine. It’s a shout out for the youth, ’cause we seem to forget they are struggling too. Breakups only make you stronger and make you see life from different angles. It’s something natural during these years, so it’s normal for you to feel confused. Look at the sky, take a deep breath, count to 10 and let everything go. Get out in the world and leave the past behind, and always keep this in mind: eventually, you will meet your soulmate – because the two of you will find the same hiding place.
Esther: Separating from my partner has taught me that it is okay to evolve in vibrational level within the universe and to seek growth and receive guidance in life. Have the courage to let go of what we ‘wanted’ to own for a better clarity of the essentials that we actually needed. With better focus and clarity comes more abundance in life.
Rimsha: Separating from my partner has taught me of my hidden potential. It taught how I can do ANYTHING & EVERYTHING if I set my mind to it. To the stars now !
Alena: Separating from my partner has taught me to be happy for the present moment, to fully enjoy what do we have right now. We can plan for the future but what is real is only NOW and that’s what we should make the most of…. 💫Love, Alena
Jae: To stop looking for someone to be my hero or knight in shining armor. Be your own hero and learn to love and accept everyone as they are without trying to fix them and without judgment and to find someone who can do the same for you.
Unconditional love is the purest most freeing experience
Uttam: The separation from my ex-wife has been a blessing because it taught me many things.
I got married for the wrong reasons as I was following what all my friends were doing because I was the only unmarried person in our group. This has helped me to stop being a follower, being a follower will lead you to someone else’s journey and not yours.
I was also taught the lesson of detachment because it was always about me and my ex so I didn’t have my own identity.
The most important lesson was that we didn’t complete each other and that we have to complete ourselves and fill up our glass and we can give in a relationship and help each other evolve.
The greatest lesson was that when you get into a relationship it’s not about receiving love it’s about giving love.
We shouldn’t fall in love because when we fall we get hurt, we should rise in love and rise together.
Fulden: Separation is like losing your compass in the middle of the rain forest. He was my compass and i am still trying to find my way out from this forest.
Jessica: The separate taught me a hard and also beautiful lesson. which ensures my ultimate happiness. You can still have so many Matrilistic things and not be happy at the same time. step out of my safe world and look for happiness in myself…
Lotta: Separating from my partner has taught me that I need to take charge in my own life and not be dependent on anyone but myself. The anger and resentment that I felt towards him were actually me being angry with myself for not being and acting my full potential. I still love him in an unconditional way. Actually, the same way as when we first fell in love and before all the conditioning started to build up. Sometimes its easier to love at a distance.
Kyle: It has taught me that stalking them on social media years later is normal, that when I find a new love, it’s normal to struggle to find unique ways to show and tell them how much they mean to me, because the way I love won’t change much, it has taught me that it’s important to assume who I am and be comfortable being someone that’s been divorced, and not look at that as a weakness and an anomaly, but as a way to shift my perspective on what it means to be in a successful relationship. It means you’ll always love multiple people at the same time in your life. It has taught me to love harder, to hold on longer, to focus on the reasons you got together in the first place and lay to rest, the rest.
Sara: Essentially separating from my partner taught me that you never really know somebody as much as you think you do. People will surprise you.
In turn, I learned to not have any expectations or attachments.
We cannot control other external actions but we can control our internal reactions to them. That is where your power lies.
Someone’s inability to recognize my worth does not determine it. Their perception is not my reality. I learned to forgive and let go by transmuting the heartfelt betrayal i experienced, into power.
I learned to give thanks for every lesson learned and a fraction of hurt as without these I would not have learned to look so very deep within myself and remember how truly precious and worthy I am 👑. I try to remain in my vulnerability by living with an open heart but never again will I put somebody else’s needs before my own. Although a rather hard task for an empath, healthy boundaries have to be set. These days I forgive but never forget.
Each of the events I’ve endured happened for a divine reason and pushed me closer towards enlightenment than I ever was before so for that I am ever grateful and ever elevating 🛐☯️.
Self-love is everything and is essential during the healing process and beyond.
You deserve the world even if it means giving it to yourself until your twin flame arrives in divine timing ❤️.
I learned how compassionate and rare my soul and heart are, and to be so very careful not to place them in the wrong hands.
Never ever lose hope!
I believe finding real love will be worth the turbulent journey and all the testing trials along the way.
The universe needs to see how badly you want and deserve it after all so be prepared for tests and distractions 😏.
Live in authenticity and you will be set free! ☮️💟
P.s. Don’t ever look back 😉
Judit: It has taught me that the most important thing in life is to find your inner peace, because your happiness is inside you, nowhere else. If you keep thinking that someone or something material will give you the happiness you are looking for, you will never find it! Because people can go away, things can disappear… But you will always have yourself! And you are so strong, so powerful! Inside of us, we have all we need and more. We just need to focus on spirituality to grow from inside and to become day by day the best version of ourselves
Josalba: Separating from my partner has taught me to draw again my shape and boundaries, to learn how to cherish light and darkness within love, to be born again through the babies born from that love, to learn to forgive and embrace each lack of generosity towards the entity that once was a loving couple, to rise from the ground where I rested waiting for myself, to believe in the strength of my ancestors which hold me up, to sing my pain when forbidden to speak, and to believe the Sun also rose for me.
Suhaini: Separating from my partner has taught me that true love doesn’t exists…😢
I am living my life only for my 3 boys now…
sometimes i just feel so tired of living and wished tat God will just take me away soon!
coz falling to sleep at night is difficult, i overthink a lot, finding what went wrong, etc etc..
from a cheerful and positive and lively person, i had changed to a reserved, quiet, grumpy and short-tempered person..
i am hating myself.. i can never forgive myself for getting into a wrong relationship with him.. i hate myself so much
Faizal: It taught me that life is more than just about finding your other half. Life is a combination of many important things, losing a relationship does not mean you lose everything.
Sri: Separating from my partner has taught me to be more in love with my self, fulfill life with the fullest gratitude to be the best version of me, more compassionate, and let go everything that doesn’t belong to me anymore. it was 9 years married with all the hard things in my life, i felt loss my self, buried my dreams, event i felt all my potential was holded i can not be expressive with my self, hiding the truth of me. i was through a different of me. i was even mad to God why this is all happened to me, that i felt doing the right thing to family and people that I loved. in a short way, it was divorced happened by agreement between me and my ex-husband, after trying to fix it all, been through so many spiritual journeys in my life. this divorced has taught me, that fullfill my life with passion, love, and learn to let go of that not belong to me anymore, dealing with all anger, stressed, and depression, even I was felt for the first time like my life is empty. during the whole that moment i was a yoga teacher and been resigned being an employee at a company. Thanks to Lord, yoga has safe me to deal with what life trows at me. every single day I learn to let go every beautiful moment of my life, until i found forgiveness within me to what happened, and I am still dealing with it till now, that makes me stronger and stronger every day. then I knew why God put me on this circumstances, i felt like being in His guide to be the strongest person I become, more loving with my Self , I’ve been through in some level of my life and transformed being a freedom to be the best version of my self, and my dedication with teaching yoga for people is a process to heal me too, that I never expected I was facing some people who need my help while they are in dealing with their conflict or divorced. in that moment, i was knew, this is what God wants for me , is to be meant to life and fulfill life with love and gratitude, and by His guidance to help people who doesn’t know how to start to deal with their life problems. Being single since divorced, I have now been 10 years teaching yoga and had faced so many problems of people. I feel relief in so many ways and more closed to my spiritual journey, feel happy, and peace within me. even now we are in friendship with my ex, even he has his second marriage now, we can still meet to taking care our Son be more communicated and more like a bestfriend to be there each other for our Son.
Maree: Separating From My Partner Has Taught me that it is ok to “fail”. I matter. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to simply let go.
Larisa: I remember that it was extremely hard to accept the end of the bound. But time showed me how for the first time, reflecting at all the words of wisdom of my mom, I was better off. I learned to appreciate myself, to say no when I don’t want to do or don’t tolerate it. Also, that argues are OK to go if the subject is about something you can live with – so no more complaints on who should walk the dog next or feed the cat more. I did see how harmful was the environment I used to live in and realize how many sacrifices a person can do if is absorbed in wanting to be loved instead of loving itself first. It is hard and painful to remember it all but at least I had guidance for the future and saw that it is true. You get in the wrong relationships by choosing the same pattern or wrong people. So choose differntly next time and be with your eyes wide open.
Gelena: Separating from my partner has taught me that I can turn pain into power.
Waihoroi: Separating from my partner has taught me how to be resilient when you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stomped on. To look at my life and the world around me with new eyes and that it’s ok to mourn the loss of what I thought my future would look like. That it’s time to create a new future, count my blessings and learn how to love myself. Forgive, hold my head high and move forward with a spring in my step.