Perhaps one of the main reasons that stop us to experience or achieve anything in our lives is self-sabotage.
Many of us are unconsciously rooted in victim-hood patterns, that can makes it challenging to recognize our true potential. We have been made to believe that whatever we want in life, takes a lot of effort or is even impossible to achieve.
I had these beliefs myself, I was raised in an environment of lack and limitation and whenever I wanted something it appeared to be bigger than myself. Self-sabotaging patterns interfered and made me gave up on it.
Whether is about relationships, passions or jobs. If we were raised in an environment of lack or unworthiness we tend to sabotage ourselves trough limitations and negative thinking telling us that we cannot achieve or experience what we want.
WHY IS SELF-SABOTAGE PART OF WHO WE ARE
When we are born into this world, we automatically develop needs. Needs of connection, of attention, of freedom, of belonging and the need for exploration or knowledge. If any of these needs are suppressed or not met, a feeling of unworthiness or lack starts to arise within us.
All these influences a lot our upbringing, what we think, what we do and how we act in life. Later it can become our limitations and because of that, we tend to judge ourselves and be passive when we want to do what we came here on the planet to do. At this point we call it self-sabotage.
UNDERSTAND AND OVERCOME SELF-SABOTAGING PATTERNS
When it comes to overcoming the self sabotaging patterns, what I learned is that I had to find their source in order to understand them and rewire the whole program.
In my case they manifested as fear. In the past, every time I worked on an important project or I was involved in a new relationship that naturally feelt good, I was very tempted to sabotage it.
Why? In my case and with the most people I worked with, there were two reasons:
- Being afraid of the unknown. This is the most common reason for all of us. Our mind is used to whatever it is used to. It finds comfort in what gives us a sense of certainty, security and of course, comfort. Whenever we want to change that, the mind becomes alert. This is one of its main primary functions, to keep us safe.
- The second reason is feeling unworthy. This reason is created by those naturally needs that were never met as we were children. It usually comes on top of the first reason. It acts as an extension of it.
To overcome it, it takes three steps:
- Become aware of it. We need to acknowledge in ourselves the patterns. We need to feel it and not be afraid of it. This is the step that most of us avoid, therefore already give up.
- Understanding its roots. Here we have to contemplate on it. We have to sit comfortably with the emotion or reach help from someone else to do it with us. At this step, realization can come. Whether it is a natural need that was not met as we were children or a condition that we took from the society we grew up in (school, family, friends), it is not important. What important is that our mind doesn’t identify itself with it and the self-blame stops.
- Progressive commitment in releasing the patterns. Of course, we cannot change our mind’s patterns overnight. Especially if we lived for years with those patterns. Here we need to be aware whenever the patterns might arise and accept that we are not there yet. Steps 1 and 2 should be applied here over and over again whenever necessary. One thing will be changed though, we will have an awareness of the patterns and once that happens, the transformation will come eventually.
Wherever you find yourself, remember to take it slowly and not put pressure on you. Appreciate the dedication that you have for yourself in order to become that which you know you can be. Treat yourself with compassion and forgiveness. Much love!
Written by Alex from YOUniverse Revival Community
More about Alex, YOUniverse:
Alex was born in Sibiu, Romania and counts 31 years of age in this lifetime. He also has German lineage and lived in Germany for seven years, before starting to travel more.
At the age of 25, he experienced a sudden and profound inner transformation that changed his perspective and understanding of himself, of life and the universe as a whole completely. In the following years, his earth experience was characterized by the excitement and dedication of completely transforming his life through learning to listen to his intuition. Since then he has been committed to working on himself and being in service to facilitate a more loving, sustainable and peaceful world.
Back in Romania, Alex studied Economics, only to realize that this wasn’t what ignited his love and what he wanted to represent and express in life.
When he moved to Germany after some challenging years of trying to fit in and many life lessons learned, he began and completed studies that certified him as a Social Media Marketing Manager. He loved the link to the online world, which he considers as a gateway to unlimited information and the entire world.
Another few years with many enriching life lessons, struggles, and rock bottoms passed until Alex found what truly brings him purpose and fulfillment. He finally discovered his passion for writing and started a blog, sharing his experiences and his views on life with the world.
Alex also has a background in Holistic Health and Nutrition.
Currently, he spends his days supporting people through intuitive emotional healing, mental liberation, and self-realization counseling. Furthermore, he also works on heart-based online projects with experienced facilitators and teachers on eliciting the sharing and expression of their gifts.
Seeing us humans as cosmically intelligent beings, Alex is eager for us to learn – individually and collectively – how to tap into our intuition, our guidance system, as to access the universal information that is already encoded in our DNA. He is passionate for us to know ourselves at our very core so that we can easily embody and live at our fullest potential.
Thus, he dedicates himself to educating on this core area, igniting the processes that bring with them the unfolding of purpose in our lives.
YOUniverse Revival dropped into Alex’ life like a blessing. This project represents exactly what many times over the years he envisioned to be part of. Since it feels like a dream come true, it naturally occurs for him to passionately invest his energy into creating, serving, listening, learning and sharing – to become one with everything that this project and its heart-centered community is all about.
Alex perceives separation as his biggest lesson in this life. He was raised by his single mom while his father wasn’t present at all, because of completely denying to have a son. For Alex, this had the consequence of developing profound feelings of unworthiness – until he found his way into comprehension of this energetic pattern and therefore releasing it.
Alongside the way, he also experienced long term relationships of deep soul connection that ended through both friendly and sudden separations. Some of them left him utterly heartbroken but at the same time, with recovery, offered him the opportunity to comprehend the nature and dynamics of relating – the forming of connection between people – especially romantically.